A brief rant on Garrison Keillor and the Writers’ Almanac (Yes, I’m that much of an NPR nerd)

Every time I hear the Writers’ Almanac on NPR I’m left frustrated.

I am a fan of the short program. How many places can you be exposed to all of the following items in just a few minutes?

• poetry! In Nature! That isn’t a limerick!
• learn that George Plimpton took down RFK’s assassin.
• That it’s the birthday of the Apple II computer. Today’s Mac’s come with one million times more memory!
• That Adam Smith, the Wealth of Nations “Invisible Hand of capitalism” guy was raised by gypsies and he believed in taxes!

And all of that and more was in a single episode.

So yes, I’m a fan until the very end. By that I mean, it’s the end of the show, the sign off, that ruffles my feathers, that ripples my Lake Wobegone. Garrison Keillor, of Prairie Home Companion and “one time he met me” fame, signs off like this:

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.®

AHHHHH!!!! Does that drive anyone else crazy? Am I alone here? (I hope for the rest of you that I am.) In my mind it should be…

“Be well, do good work, and DON’T FORGET TO WRITE.”

Isn’t that obvious yet way more original?

And keep in touch? It’s a radio, Garrison! I can’t talk to you. If I send you a letter will you read it?

And what’s with the registered trademark BS? The transcript is on the show’s site and that phrase is registered. Why would anyone want to steal such an irrelevant, unoriginal tagline?

Garrison, if you are reading this, feel free to use my edit. Also, I’m a big fan of your eyebrows and your work.