The delicate art of "thank you"

I’m writing my acknowledgments for the book.

Annie wants me to thank Oreo – the cat that owns me. But what if you think I owe you a “shout-out” and you turn to the acknowledgements expecting to read how you’ve inspired me only to find that I’ve thanked the cat and not you?

I’m proceeding with caution.

While I don’t want to leave anyone out, I also don’t want to thank everyone in my entire life that has helped me. Droning on name after name, thank-you after thank-you, could seem pathetic. It might be the only time I’ll ever have a chance to thank my childhood baby sitter in print, but I feel like I should act like it’s not. Like this is the first of many such opportunities. Let’s hope it is.

I’m trying to stick to the people that purely played a roll in the story of my book – inspired it, informed it, gave life to it, participated in it, believed in it, or put up with me in the research and writing of it.

Who knows, you might make the list? The readers of WAIW? have been many of the above. There’s one way to ensure that you’ll make the cut – bribe me.

(Note: I’m kidding. Please don’t send me money.)

For $100 I’ll thank you for your help with the manuscript.
For $500 I’ll mention that your guidance was invaluable and your wisdom vast.
For the bargain price of $1,000 I’ll call you my muse.
For $50,000 I’ll make you a co-author.

Have any other suggestions of ways to be mentioned in the acknowledgements and the price tag that should accompany it?